Everything's Not Awesome
"Everything's not awesome. Things can't be awesome all of the time. It's not realistic expectations, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to make everything awesome in a less idealistic kind of way. We should maybe aim for not bad, cause not bad right now wold be real great." -The Lego Movie 2- The Second Part
That's right, I used a lyric from a Lego movie. I didn't even have to look up the lyrics, I have them memorized these days and honestly the movies are pretty good. I wanted to share this post for a few reasons.
Reason Number One: Yes I'm still working of my video series.
Like many of you, I'm finding it difficult to balance my quarantine life with my work life. This is especially true because a good chunk of my work life is also my home life with kids. But, I promise, more videos are on the way!
Reason Number Two: It's okay to be mad about your current situation.
Here's a list of things I don't like right now.
1. I miss Target.
2. My two year old has decided this is a good time to stop napping.
3. Our house has become a combined school/office/play space.
4. I miss going out with friends and family.
5. My regular routine has been thrown out the window.
6. I don't feel like every one else is sacrificing their personal freedoms like we are.
7. I miss going to the grocery store.
8. My kids miss their friends and family.
9. Every decision I make has layer upon layer of moral consequences.
10. I know too many people still working and I worry for them.
My list may be too short or too long for some of you and I realize that a lot of those things are trivial in the grand scheme of things. But, I just want to to know that even the most organized people aren't fully prepared for everything. Mentally or physically. The biggest thing on that list for me is the upset of my regular routine.
My first reaction to a change of plans is typically anger/negativity. It's not a good thing and I've worked on it over the years, but honestly that's the way it is. So, when cancellations and stay at home orders came around, I was defintely relieved for health reasons but I would be lying if I told you I wasn't angry underneath it all. I had entertained the idea of teaching at one point, but ruled it out because I don't think I have the patience for it. That being said, homeschooling has never been on my radar. I have a very practiced cleaning routine with everything spaced out and scheduled appropriately for ease and compliance. No naptime plus working around my husband's office hours has completely warped that whole thing. And, when my regular routine gets kinked or thrown off, I usually head on over to Target for some relaxing window shopping and well...you know.
All of that ranting is to lead into my last point.
Reason Number Three: There's some good mixed in with the bad.
I'm not going to sugar coat it or tell you that this is the time to become your best self, but I what I can do is share the good things that have come along with the bad.
1. My kids are rockstars. They have been mostly positive about this whole experience.
2. Grey is a fantastic home school student.
3. Both boys have found fun new ways to play together.
4. People are washing their hands more.
5. Trav has a job that allows him to work at home which means we just see him more.
6. I've been able to try new recipes.
7. I see stories about the goodness of humans mixed in with the bad.
8. Teachers, family and friends are making awesome efforts to connect through technology.
9. The weather has been amazing (most days).
10. I've got a growing list of stores and restaurants to frequent, when everything is over, because of their amazing response to the community and those who need help.
I'm not learning a new language or picking up a new hobby. I'm not trying find my inner warrior. I'm simply living day by day like most of you, trying to make things work and help where I can. And that's okay. Let me repeat it, that's okay. I feel the pressure of being a super star in times like this and I don't want anyone to feel guilty if that's just not possible. You do what you can do and that's enough.
Stay safe and healthy friends. Stay home, stay connected and let me know if I can help.